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He signs his name on the back of a piece of paper her apologetic father provides, throws his arm around her shoulder for the photo, records a ridiculous voicemail greeting on her phone, and tells her that he loves Hoechlin more than Scott will ever love Derek and that, yes, he and Dylan really do share an apartment.
She looks thrilled when her father finally drags her away, and Tyler thinks it's nice, getting to make people happy this way.
Only no, he can't, because what he actually did was spend ten minutes trying not to think about Dylan, and then fifteen minutes having some intense private time in the shower while very much failing at not thinking about Dylan, and then twenty minutes freaking out about the previous fifteen minutes. It was nice, letting the music drag him away from the whole Dylan thing, and then letting the alcohol drag him away from, like, things in general--it wasn't a bad choice, not really. It's just that now it's AM and Dylan's coming home tomorrow and the whole apartment is dirty and Crystal's going to make him do schemes if he doesn't figure something out and he's tired and he's in love with Dylan oh god oh god oh god. Then he decides to lie on the couch and watch Food Network until he gets hungry, which is actually a success. And Tyler's going to clean his apartment like an adult!
Two hours later he's seen a really hot lady talk about mozzarella cheese, a sort of hot dude talk about something called cacciatore, and eaten most of a pizza by himself. Tyler is just going to clean his apartment and not freak out about this, because, again, it's not that big a deal. He gets through most of the kitchen without issue, throwing out empty cereal boxes and putting enough dishes in the dishwasher that he actually finds the sponge, which has been missing for almost a month.
It should have been fine--no, Tyler reminds himself. Usually when Tyler runs up against a situation like this, he can pretty much guess how intense his feelings are going to be.
Or whatever, it doesn't really matter which straw it was, because the point is that for a while everything was amazing and Tyler was living with Dylan and working with Dylan and hanging out with Dylan and dicking around on new songs with Dylan, and then Dylan left. The whole reason that he and Dylan work, as coworkers and roommates and fake best friends and real best friends, is because they each bring copious amounts of individual awesome to the table. Okay, he's just going to have to cut to the chase and be honest with himself: the truth is, he misses Dylan. Like, more than he was expecting to, which is weird.
It's kind of a let-down, though, going from that to the front counter of the store, where the check-out girl looks down at his purchase of paper towels, a sponge, fourteen packages of that gum Dylan's always chewing and six different brands of energy drink, and makes an unimpressed face.He wants Dylan to hold onto him the way only Dylan does, laughing soft into his ear and saying "I knew you'd get it, didn't I tell you, I totally told you, dude. It doesn't really help.) --So, okay, all of this is how he ends up on the red carpet for the Pitch Perfect premiere, dressed like Dylan and thinking about Dylan and kind of talking to a reporter about how he wants an excuse to make out with Dylan next season, whoops. And the girl from Hollywire TV is always really nice, and kind of hot in a not-quite-Tyler's-type sort of way, and she always makes a point to ask him about his band. " "I want Scott to make out with Dylan next season? I mean, not that making out with you isn't great and everything--""No," Crystal says, "oh my god, Tyler, no. He's down to his last, like, three of them, which is another problem with Dylan being gone--Tyler won't be old enough to buy his own beer for an entire month. "Dirty laundry smells, why would anybody want to--" "Tyler! " Crystal sounds frustrated now, and Tyler takes a sip of his beer.You should've prepared a speech." He wants to maybe shake for a second under Dylan's warm hands, because holy shit, holy shit, this is happening, this is real. It's not like he meant to say anything about it, not really. He likes her, and so he lets his guard down and yeah, okay, mentions about how he'd like to stick his tongue in Dylan's mouth. " Crystal says, in that voice that almost always means she's laughing at him. This turns out to be a mistake, because she chooses that exact moment to add, "I want to talk about how you have clearly wanted to hook up with Dylan for, um, ever, and how it is so not okay that you told a reporter before you told me." Beer through the nose, Tyler decides, is pretty much the worst thing ever."I can't even talk to you right now." Then, without saying anything else, she hangs up. --"So I've decided you need to woo Dylan, properly, and in the grand tradition of romance," Crystal says, when Tyler answer the phone the next afternoon. "Look, Crystal, you can't--no fancy restaurants, okay? She's probably not trying to freak him the fuck out.
Tyler stares at his phone for a long minute, and then shrugs, pockets it, and decides to play Halo. "He's an actor, he'll appreciate it, and it will absolutely make up for how I'm sure he's been thinking you were completely leading him on all these months. I checked his flights and he gets back to town the day after tomorrow, and Holland booked you a table at this restaurant called--" "Dude, no, Dylan hates fancy restaurants," Tyler says, because any restaurant Holland picked out will undoubtedly be fancy as hell. " "Tyler--" "Okay you cannot," Tyler takes a deep breath, and then another one. "Crystal," he says, more than a little mournfully, "what do I do?He looks around, but the entire kitchen is devoid of anything like a paper towel because Dylan, not Tyler, is the person in their house who says things like, "Dude, we're out of milk" and "Seriously, let’s just steal some toilet paper from set or something, okay? I can't live like this." Without Dylan, Tyler's life is sort of a shambles. " "Well, I'm going to tell you anyway," Crystal says. That's how Holland found out about it." "Oh, god," Tyler says, because…because, well, oh god. God, it figures this is the one thing that can freak you out." "Well! " Tyler is pretty sure this what it feels like to lose your mind. Melissa'd done a great job with it, but that headspace--Tyler's mind bouncing around with thoughts of what he'd do if he were Scott, if it were his mom being choked out like that--had been kind of toxic and awful.