Though my wife used to enjoy the occasional simulated rape.
How many times have you masturbated in 2011 (and if it counts as the same question, what were you thinking about) Me: 2.
I text her out of the blue late one night, first time in about 2 weeks.
This was about a month ago and I’ve held it back from my blog until I finally went “radically honest” on her and told her I’m a dating coach. You must be missing the texts Her: drunk now i take it? Just being filthy on Facebook chat and I thought of you.
Get a load of this text game as it escalates to full on depravity. How come your facebook updates always make you look like a nutjob?
Background is: she was a five minute number close at trafalgar square about 3 months ago and though we’ve had some lively banter by text she hasn’t agreed to a date and she hasn’t “crossed the sexual rubicon” of admitting sexual attraction to me.
I hope he contracts a painful sexual disease and his penis falls off.
Real number, I don’t wanna be multiplying by 3 Me: 2. I have held off men for ages because i dont wanna reach double figures. Same question back to you, as well as how many girls u have…
How many men have stuck their he-rocket in your she-pocket? mostly they are just nice to talk about or think about but are not as good to do.
[one hour passes] Her: Why did u suddenly decide that?
Me: Since June 2010 I decided I will do only those things that interest me and not give a fuck. Make my life a hell of a story for when I’m aged 70 as a washed up drunk in a Jamaican beachfront dive.
Are you a better lay when you’re angry and wrathful? Her: And bonus question number 4 if u care to answer, how often do you follow girls down the road to sandwich compliment them?