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23-Oct-2016 05:24

This book contains my fears and my history, but it also contains my hopes.

Part of my own personal journey of recovering from sexual violence has been to rid myself of the shame, guilt and fear that sex often holds for me. Some of them I’ve already ticked off, and the collected check marks on that list feel amazing.

This was the question that led me to rethink what was really happening on college campuses.

The vast majority of published research on hookup culture, mine included, focuses on the gender dynamics: the extent to which college women are empowered or disempowered by their experience with hookup culture.

Another result of this visual format is that it has shown me how much love I have given with my sex.

The pages of this book are filled with frantic, crabbed writing after almost every name, and some partners get asterisks next to their names because they played such significant roles in my life. This book has made me appreciate how lucky I am to have experienced so much love. Hidden somewhere in the middle, there is a list of sexual goals for the immediate future.

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On the page, at least it’s dramatically outnumbered.These goals are an ambitious amalgamation of numbers, names, acts, places and groupings that represent things I want to do, barring shame and fear.